Reality
by Bloodsucker0
Summary: Spoilers. Chris deals with the supposed death of his partner. Can anybody help him through his depression? Will there be others? Rated M. sorta.
1. Regret

Mourning

_I know somebody probably already wrote something on it but, there's not enough Rebecca x Chris stories or Rebecca x Billy stories. SPOILERS._

Chris stares blankly at the tombstone in front of him, his expression plain and drowsy. He felt so ashamed of himself. Why? Why wasn't he there to save her? He kept asking himself the same questions over and over again. "Damn", he muttered to himself. He lost sleep over it every night. He didn't think he would see that face ever again.

_( "Wesker!" Jill shouted at the blonde-haired nemesis. Chris stared back in abhorrence. "Ah….the dynamic duo," Wesker said fixating his glasses. Chris nodded at Jill for her to check the old man sitting at his desk. "He's dead," she said checking his beat. "You bastard," Chris gritted in between his teeth. "He was getting in my way". "No one deserves to be a god on this earth except me," he said with a cool demeanor. "You've lost it Wesker," Jill said , her finger on the trigger. Wesker ignored her comment and looked towards Chris with a smirk. Chris gave him a hard look, his shotgun aimed at his head. _

"_Enough of the talk, lets get down to business shall we?" He insisted. In one fell swoop, Wesker had already knocked the gun out of Jill's hand and threw her across the room. Chris fired off a shot, though unsuccessfully as Wesker threw him against the book case. Jill recovered from her shock and fired three rounds at him. Wesker flashed out of range and popped up behind her, grabbing her by the neck. Chris threw his knife at him, still missing him by a second ._

_In a quick strike, Chris was knocked off balance by his punch. Wesker began to tighten his grip as Chris was held in between him and the table behind him. "Honestly Chris, do you ever give up?" Wesker asked shooting his cold, orange-yellow eyes at him. "Guns are so overrated." Chris felt overpowered. His gun was taken from him and pointed towards him. "Damn," he muttered to himself. "I think you've lived in this world long enough , Mr. Redfield," he said squeezing the trigger._

_Just then, in one quick move , Jill ran into him, shoulder first then the rest of her body. Unfortunately behind the two, a window was placed in range. Before Chris could grab her, the two shattered the glass of the window and fell out . No thud. No landing. Chris looked out the window only to be staring at a giant, dark hole in the ground. "Jill!" He yelled . There was no reply. Only the howling of the wind and the howls of wolves. "Jill," he called again weakly. He dropped to the floor and brought a fist down on it. "Dammit, dammit, dammit", he repeated. A thought out plan gone wrong. This wasn't the way is was supposed to happen. The mission was a failure.) _

He set her old beret on the tombstone and then gave a quick salute to her, focusing on something else to avoid the flowing of tears. The deal was done and the hour was set. There was nothing he could do anyway.

The brown-haired man sighed once more and began to turn to leave. "I'm sure you'd do the same thing for her, wouldn't you?" A voice called out to him. Chris lightly turned his head to find a girl standing before him. She looked no more than maybe 26 or 27 and wore her hair down complete with a set of glasses and casual clothing. "….I'm sorry?" he questioned unable to identify her. "It's been a while hasn't it?" She asked back removing her reading glasses. "Ever since the mansion."

"…….?……Rebecca"? Chris answered.

To be continued on the next chapter. I might've put too many quotation marks in.


	2. Tolerance

Chris quickly brushed away his tears so as not to show his weak demeanor. "I... heard what happened," she said in a sad and sympathetic voice.

"Yeah... its tragic," he said looking down as if he was lost in thought about another time way back when he was happy.

Silence. Rebecca sighed slightly, frantically searching for words to fill the utter silence of wind and crumpled leaves dancing and whirling on the stone tiles.

"It's good to see you again after so long," he said filling the void of quiescence for her.

"Yeah...how long has it been really?" She asked already knowing how much time has flowed over the past years. "I can't believe you still know who I am after all this time."

"Well...it only takes me a second to realize an old friend," doing his best not to make the J word pop up in his head.

A lot of things had changed since their first meeting at the Spencer mansion. It was an awkward one really; him slowly creaking open the worn door only to find a hail of pepper spray and a pistol in his face. He almost giggled at the encounter just thinking about it.

But anyway, Rebecca had gone back to school and graduated with a Master's degree. With the money she had accumulated, she moved in to a small but comfortable one room studio apartment. Chris on the other hand had been keeping a low profile ever since he returned from Europe. His attitude began to change from there. His partner's missing body was never found amongst the cliffs nor was Wesker. A man turned from kind and acquit to a downhearted and blunt man in pain. He began to distance himself from others and lose faith in partnership. It was as if someone had took his heart and crushed it into tiny little pieces. A tragic vicissitude indeed.

"So what have you been up to all this time?" She asked giving him the youthful look in her eyes.

"Hiding," he said, accidentally slipping the word out of his mouth by accident. Rebecca cocked her head sideways sensing another bad vibe coming from him.

The watch on his wrist beeped 5:30, showing that his break had come to a close. "Hm... my break is up, guess I'd better get going before I get scolded," he said as if he didn't really care.

"Oh...um...okay," she said sounding down. "Um...maybe we could talk one day. I'll be here for a few days until my trip to Paris."

"...That would be nice," he said with a faint smirk before turning around. "Okay..um...bye then," she said trying to get the words out before he was out of earshot. Chris waved his backhand to her before stuffing them in his pockets and then disappearing out of sight behind the stone steps.

Little did he know, Rebecca had a thing for sensing peoples auras and the emotions that came with them. But Chris. his was something she had never seen before. Never had she seen so much pain and regret coming all from one person before. She could feel the pent up anger and sadness in his heart. He was hurt.

He mentioned "hiding". Hiding from what? Maybe hiding from the rest of the world, afraid that they would ridicule him of being on the edge of a mental breakdown. Hiding maybe because he was afraid that he would make the same mistake again.

She looked at the already worn stone head in front of her. She had gotten word of Jill's fatal death but couldn't believe it herself. A strong and intellectual woman like that couldn't have possibly died so easily. It's actually plain logic if you think about it for a minute. She'd been fighting for the sake of the world only to have her life cut short by some crazed madman who had tried to rebuild the once fallen empire

And her herself. She hadn't been without the pain either. Ever since she saw the innocent convict again. As the days passed by she began to see less and less of him in her memories. Before the cold and lonely nights, she had been so happy with him. The warm comforting. The laughs and the happy times. The time when they never fought about anything except when it came to deciding with themselves what to wear. It was almost a given yet only a short amount of time.

He'd gotten a letter from his former Commander and was sent back overseas. He inclined, feeling left without a choice.

_(There he was standing in front of her doorstep with Rebecca looking into his eyes as if she was about to cry if she lost sight of them. A graceful embrace. A passionate kiss. A tearful goodbye from her. And an old-fashioned salute. Shortly he left as quickly as he came one would say.)_

Ever since, she's been in a decrepit sort of state. Recently she'd been having nightmares that had been receding back to the Arklay Mountains and the horrific facilities that lied within it.

She dreamed she was out of ammo, running from the monsters, bleeding and crying her eyes out. She was alone all by herself. There were no doors to escape out of. No windows to break out of. Nothing but twisting hallways, deep stairways, and dim lights all about. Where was he? Her partner. Sometimes in her dreams she could hear screams echoing and the moans of zombies ripping at fresh skin and sinew. She kept running frantically trying to find him but she always seemed farther away from his voice. She screamed his name but to no avail.

The dreams kept coming like a hail of arrows, relentlessly delaying her from her resting time. Other times she would break out in a cold sweat and vomit. Other times she would wake up crying and heartbroken over again.

It was the same routine every single night. He'd never written or called her since then. Maybe he was...

No. Rebecca was too deep in the pits of denial to believe such a trifle thing. When would the killing stop? When would he contact her so she could stop having her sleepless nights alone. She was in so much pain. Just like Chris. Both of their minds fading further away from sanity to almost pure madness.

She shifted her glasses and looked up at the birds soaring in her sky. There was not time to reminisce and remorse right now. She'd have to get ready for antother hellish night with her inner conciousness.

_Sorry. Couldn't wait to upload it. _


	3. Submission

_later that night..._

The full moon was out tonight radiating the city with its luminescent rays of heaven and tranquility. A shaky Rebecca was clutching her sheets, sweating heavily and moaning at the pounding headache.

_(Running and running aimlessly through the corridors, her vision blurred from the blood that seeped from her wounds and onto the front of her Kevlar vest. The only thing gripped in her hand was an empty handgun and an almost empty first aid spray can. The eerie howls sounded off once again and rang throughout. _

_She blindly ran into walls and tripped over things in the way she usually did. All the while she wondered to herself how many times she'd have to go through the same thing until she was locked inside her own mental asylum. Or at least until she'd decided to take it to the extremes. But that offensive would be her last resort if the final decision came down to it. _

_She began to hear her name being yelled followed by muffled screams. She was stunned, unable to continue any further. She fell to the floor in exhaustion, unable to regain her strength back. Once again, she lost. She'd always lost. The battle seemed impossible to win against. No advantage points. No tide shift. No lady luck. She had luck once, but it went away and never came back leaving her alone to fend for herself._

_"No...stop," she said weakly barely getting out the words. "No...get away," she says but they ignore her shallow pleas. Like she said before what was the point of fighting back if you had nothing to fight back with. Or no one to fight for. She could never comprehend anything like this or why it was happening. It could just be trauma._

Rebecca woke up with a swing of her body and almost fell out the bed upon awakening. Tears ran down her cheeks and her bed sheets were soaked in cold sweat. She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes before moving out and heading to the kitchen to get a glass of water. "When would the dreams stop," she wondered to herself. When would everything bad stop? When did she no longer have to experience this out-of-body horror fest? The answers were just out of reach for her.

"I need to clear my head," she whispered to herself. She looked out to the now ashen blue sky. She could use a walk before work. Anything to take her mind off of that. Grabbing her jacket, shoes, and jeans, she quickly put them on and quietly slipped out the door and strode down the steps out into the cold morning air.

Very few people were out; either the people in the business suits or the delivery workers who had to get up early in the morning to unpack things. A thin mist had covered the area like it usually did on mornings like these.

She casually wandered down a few blocks and up a few slopes leading to the grave yard. She was about to round another corner and get another extra block in when something stopped her and caught her eye.

The man whom she had met the day before was standing there, gazing down at the same tombstone, concentrating hard on it. She slowly slid behind the corner of an alleyway and watched from behind. How long had he been there?

It wasn't in her jurisdiction to ask questions about that sort of thing unless told to do so. When it came to men like Chris, nothing, not even the biggest mishap would phase them neither hinder their objectives to do the right thing. But she could understand his problem being in the same situation he was in and all. She wished she could help him in a way, but right now she could only watch from the sidelines as he fought the struggle.

That extra block would have to wait for another day. She didn't want to interrupt him in his moments of solitude on a quiet morning like this. With that being said, she walked up the alleyway and back to her apartment to find out what to wear to work today.

Meanwhile, Chris had caught her out of the corner of his eye before she quickly disappeared behind the corner. Was she following him? No matter, he was too exhausted to pay attention anyway. The darkened bags on his eyes seemed heavier than the day before. He couldn't sleep at night without reliving the scene over and over again. Things were different now than they were before. He didn't feel whole anymore. He didn't feel at peace with his inner self like he used to. When would it end for him? He desperately tried grasping the truth but to no avail.

_Back to...._

Rebecca had just finished preparing herself for another day of phone calls and excessive amounts of paperwork to fill out. Fortunately she had great relations with her associates, being the new girl and all. Better than her _last _job.

The sun had finally broke out with a warm smile that had shone over the city. The morning commute had began and people were out jogging with their pets. She had a feeling today was going to be better than yesterday. Nice breeze. Fresh air. Sunshine. Just what she needed.

The office was quiet as usual with only the humming of the machines and the printing of paper. Rebecca blandly sat in her seat and read the file that was on her desk. Halfway through the newsletter, a woman dressed in red quietly walked into the room, her elegant looks toward Rebecca.

"Oh...good morning Ms. Wong," the brunette said cheerily. " How many times are you going to keep addressing me like that?" The woman asked with a faint smirk.

"Sorry Ada," she said to the dark haired woman.

"You make me feel like I'm ten years older saying that," she said back looking out the window.

"To tell you the truth, I thought you were twenty-five," she stated.

" Hmm... that's what all the guys and girls in the office say to me," she said in a low voice. Rebecca cocked her head sideways giving her the "really" look.

"But anyway," she said quickly switching the subject. " I've been viewing your progress so far and thought you might've needed a break for today so I'm letting you leave at ten today.

"Really!" Rebecca said in a giddy voice. "I mean....really?"

"Sure why not....you've been working your butt off 24/7 ever since you've signed up for this job. I think It's time you needed a little break for now."

"Oh...thank you," she said trying not to look overwhelmed.

"Don't mention it," the woman on red said as she began to walk out. Oh yeah... and Rebecca..."

"Hm?"

"Don't overwork yourself," she said as she walked out of sight,

"Yes Ma, am," she spoke.

Later....

The traffic had died down some and the crowd of people were replaced by passing pedestrians and window shoppers. A slight chilly wind had rustled the orange leaves that fell stale to the ground. She breathed a sigh and made her move when she felt another bubbling sensation in her stomach. "Lunch first, then fun," she thought. She fixated her eyes on the figure in the cafe across from her. A curious look came across her face as she walked across the street and stepped inside.

The restaurant was empty followed along by a deafly silence, no one there except the man she had set her eyes on. Casually, she walked up and took a seat at the front of the counter.

"So....this is where you work," she said breaking the silence in the room. The man slowly turned, his solemn blue eyes meeting hers.

"Hey," he said modestly. "How's it going?"

"The day couldn't get any better," she said lowly.

"You got the day off early?"

"How'd you know?"

"Lucky guess. They have me stuck here until closing time."

"Wow...that sucks," she said fixating her glasses.

"Yeah, but the pay here is pretty good, so I couldn't refuse the offer.

"Sounds like you've got it good," she said, her voice trailing off into the distance.

"Yeah," he said his voice trailing off as well.

Somehow unaware of themselves, their gazes were locked into a trance. They saw somebody familiar in each others eyes. Someone they held onto very closely but wanted to forget about. Someone they wished were here comforting them in their time of sorrow and anguish.

Another moment of silence and then Chris broke the silence yet again.

"What's wrong?" He asked with almost an apologetic look.

"Oh...nothing....you just look a little bit tired that's all," she said.

"Really? I never noticed," he said with a grin.

"You remind me of a sad puppy for some reason," she giggled.

"Look who's talking," he said.

"Only because I've been filling out paper work for the last week and a half," she yawned.

"Hm....the dreaded paperwork routine," he said, his eyes averting to something across the room.

"Yeah."

Silence again. Rebecca hopped off the seat and headed towards the door.

"I'll talk to you later then," she said with a graceful smile.

"Okay," he replied.

"Oh yeah and Chris," she said turning away.

"................."

"Get some sleep...for me," she said already out the door.

".....will do," he muttered.

How could he get any sleep? His nightmarish dreams kept him awake and terrified of going back to sleep. It was different with him but with the same outcome. He saw Jill. Saw her dying in some different way each time while he just watched there laughing at her with a sinister look saying such trifle things as "she deserves this" or "Yes. Make her bleed. Make her suffer over and over again."

Why he didn't stop thinking and saying such things puzzled him all the more. That wasn't him. That wasn't him at all. Someone taking over maybe, but definitely not him.

And her. Something was bothering her as well and it had to be more than just late nights. He could sense a look of desperation and utter sadness in her eyes. The boldness and the bravery seemed to dissipate within her.

He would leave it be. Since when did he have the authority to question someone anyway? They had their own problims to deal with right now and didn't need anymore added tension.

_Meanwhile..._

The sun had finally set and the day was done. Rebecca was halfway done with her dishes when the telephone rang. She quickly wiped off her soapy hands and answered.

"Hello?" She called, picking up another plate.

"_Yes, this is General Raymond of the U.S. Military Unit. Are you the fiancee of Lieautenant Coen? _

An akward, bubbly feeling rose through her as she scrambled for words. "Y-Yes, it is," she replied.

"_I have some information on the status of your fiancée Lieutenant Coen. Will you be willing to accept it?"_

Waves of surprise and fear collided with one another inside her. She didn't know whether to be happy or sad. Her heart was racing in anxiety to what was about to come next.

"Y-yes," she said trying to hold back the tears that were swelling up.

The man on the other line took a deep sigh, giving her more time to brace the moment of truth.

_Lieutenant Billy Coen, age 31, has been officially recorded as deceased._

_OOH shocker Billy's dead. The chapter was longer but not as good as the other two though. Next up is the 4th and final chapter: Freedom _


	4. Freedom

_**To readers: Sorry about the HUGE delay. Computer was broken and I've been bombarded with school ever since. I hope this story was good up to this point. **_

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**The once white and shining dish had now slipped from her frozen and shaky fingers and onto the floor, scattering itself across the wood tile along with the phone. A shining tear had invisibly slid down her left cheek and off of it. Soon another and then a whole stream of tears had fallen off of her like raindrops. She put her head in her hands, so to block her heavy sobs of anguish and slid to the floor. **

**All those distant, happy memories had suddenly dismissed themselves from her now wrecked mind, Her recollections diminishing and her frailty increasing by the minute. An ominous feeling had washed over her like a transversal wave. The same feeling she had when she had walked into the freakish and horrific hellfire that was Raccoon Forest. The visions were coming back twice as hard and the mental torture had increased tenfold.**

**The scenes of her ever seeing him went blank. A black specter hung over her instead casting a shadowy haze. The same one that recreated her dreams again and again. The same one that had possibly ensued in the death of her lover. The same one that had given her that false hope just to get a sadistic kick out of it.**

**"Why me?" she whispered. **

**--**

**The weary and laggard man closed the door behind him and plopped down on the couch in his living room in his studio apartment. He sat there thinking to himself if the job was really working long hours over. With those muscles of his and a wit for strategy, he could've easily found a job more suitable to his likings if he wanted to. But where could he find the time to look for another job, he wondered. **

**Wonder? He could barely even think right now. He needed sleep. Lots of it. But he was gaining less of what he was looking for more of. Constant headaches and migraines weren't helping either. **

**He then looked up to the ceiling, suddenly locked into a gazing trance. He found himself stumbling backwards into a familiar place that he'd been to before and back again. A place that he never wanted to familiarize himself with ever again. But there he was again, in that same place, reliving it again and again.**

**He felt the texture of a seemingly rough but shag rug from underneath him as he grasped for movement. A place that he knew all to well stood before him. Lit candles on both sides of the large room cast dark shadows upon themselves as did the giant chandelier in the middle of the ceiling. Stairs climbed up on either side to the second floor consisting of a few doors on either side with a single door fixated in the center. **

**Chris was too busy grimacing at the most distinguishing feature he resented the most. An octagon-shaped symbol was imprinted on the rug painted with faded red and white colors almost resembling the top of an umbrella. **

**Umbrella. The pharmaceutical company full of dark secrets and ungodly actions. It was their fault that his life had gone topsy turvy all of a sudden. They were the reason for the countless deaths in Raccoon city and other parts of the world. **

**But he was going to put and end to them and Wesker someday once and for all even if it meant his life. Wesker......he would pay for what he did to--**

**Chris's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a womanly scream off into the distance. Chris snapped back to reality and followed the voice to the left of him. **

**The dining room was as quiet and lonely as ever, but still nobody. He heard his name being called desperately from the second floor. He went back out the way he came and rushed up the steps by threes. Forcefully, he opened the door to the ring shaped corridor and ran over to the second door across from the first, being careful not to trip down the stairs as he rounded the hallway. **

**He caught a glimpse of two clumped shadows turning the corner and into the next one. It was too dark to see who they were, so he kept a distance between himself and the eerie figures so not to scare them off. **

**A few more hallways and doors later, he found himself in a passageway that he'd never been to or recognized before. **

**A ridiculously long one at that. Dim lit lanterns and cobwebs hung from the ceiling and walls. A cold, scowling wind had brushed past him, giving him the utmost alertness. A door at the end was cracked just enough for him to see a figure out of the doorway. **

**A devilish, cynical laugh had erupted from the room and through the hallway where Chris was, making him even more curious to what was behind the door. **

**"An almost familiar laugh" he thought. **

**He slowly creaked open the door, gun first, then everything else.**

**Another shadowy room beheld him. Though lacking the lighting in the room, he could see two of the figures at the back wall facing him; one facing him and the other on the floor kneeling. **

**"Nice to see you again Mr. Redfield," an echoic voice sounded out through the distance. Chris muttered something to himself and demanded "show yourself, now". **

**"Honestly, sometimes I wonder if it's just your short attention span," they said back sounding humorous. **

**"I said show yourself, dammit!" He demanded again with frustrating anxiety. **

"**..... Fine, if you insist," they said slowly beginning to walk towards him. Chris held his gun steady, ready to fight back at the slightest mishap. The light from the corridor revealed the stranger little by little as they advanced. **

"_**It's probably him. It has to be him. I'd recognize that voice anywhere."**_

"**Wes--**

**Chris's voice trailed off incorrect identification of the stranger to only find not Wesker, but someone who thought like him, acted like him, even looked like him, as if he was staring at himself through a mirror of darkness. **

**An anti-copy of himself was looking at him with a sinister and evil glow in his piercing, red eyes complete with a plain smile etched across his face. **

"**Why'd you do it?" He asked with a wicked tone. Chris obliviously lowered his weapon in awe of the aphotic man who was himself. **

"**She risked your life for you and this is how you repay her," he said pointing to the figure behind him. Chris inched in for a closer look and almost shook at the sight. **

**Shackled and helpless, Jill laid there with fatal stabs to her body and a lifeless look on her face. **

"**Jill," he whispered. **

**No response. Just the sound of the cackling flames and cynical giggles**

"**Shut up!" Chris barked, putting his gun into focus again. **

"**Yes you did. You know you did it. I saw you, rather, I saw myself do it," his darker half explained.**

"**No," Chris hushed out but then raised his voice again. "You're not me. You never were me." **

"**Oh but Chris I've always been a part of you. Ever since you were full of guilt and sorrow for not saving her back at the Spencer Estate that faithful night. Ever since then, I've began to grow inside you day by day, waiting for the chance when I could break you from the inside. It's too bad though. You two would've made a great team, maybe even a couple, if it weren't for your selfish indecencies towards others. **

**Chris's teethed automatically gritted and his left eye jumped. He was trying his best to hold himself back from trying to murder the guy too soon.**

**"Then again, you couldn't get a piece of that even if you died trying".**

**Chris's thin line of tolerance had snapped when he spat out a relatively familiar word along with a fresh bullet being released from the chamber of his gun. Everybody, even Chris himself, knew how short-fused he was whenever the topic on Jill was negative or far-fetched. **

**He had only managed to create a small, dark hole in his copy's chest when he suddenly felt a hundred pinpricks of pain shooting through his. He caught himself on all fours, clutching his chest with a red hand. **

**The baneful man scoffed at him and his incessant impulsiveness. "Tsk. Tsk. Talk about short-tempered." **

**"Bastard," Chris muttered. He looked back over to Jill who was now standing upright and flawless. **

**"Jill," he said slowly reaching out a hand. Her response was a 9mm Beretta.**

**"Shut up, traitor," she said. Chris looked befuddled by the word "traitor". **

**"Jill....it was an accident,".**

**"Humph... mistakenly pushing me out of a window hardly seems to be an accident," she frowned. Nevertheless handing me over to the worst man ever. Your the one responsible for what went down that night. **

**She moved close to him and crouched down to eye level. "But I can think of one thing that came out of it...," **

**She grabbed him by the neck and hoisted him in the air. He struggled for dominance all the while covering his wound. **

**I've fallen in love with the best man I could ever have and it was all thanks to you . You've killed me over and over again with your endless games of torture and malice. **

**"Jill", was all he could croak before he felt his neck bone being twisted and snapped .With his body now limp and lifeless, Jill had a satisfied smile etched across her lips as she threw him to the side into what felt like an eternal pit of his own darkness and despair. Memories rushing through his head, all of them altered in some way so to show proof of Chris's guiltiness. Light-headedness, then....black.**

**--**

**"Jill!", he yelled. He lay there back in his bed sweating bullets and shaking uncontrollably. Streams of tears rolled down his cheeks along with the mass of sweat from his forehead. For awhile he questioned if it really **_**was **_**his fault after all. Maybe his dreams were lying to him. Showing him a divergent memory made up from a false, non-existent entity. **

**He caught himself as he soon as he stood up from his bed to avoid falling. He moved over to the bathroom and took a couple of pills out of the medicine cabinet. Without water he swallowed them and washed his face in the sink. He stopped to look at himself in the mirror.**

**A sad faced, lost man was on the other side looking at him with worn eyes of melancholy. The two realized neither of them were better off than the other right now and both needed some coaxing. He sighed and grabbed the towel off the rack to dry his face. As he looked up he didn't feel like himself anymore. Then again, he never did. **

**A feeling of.... well no feelings actually. None but a feeling of unwanted hatred and despair stirring in his heart of pure innocence. It began to take the form of something he dreaded most. Piercing through him with devil-looking eyes and a cold smile. If smiles could even be cold.**

**Chris just stared again, looking more annoyed than fearful. Just the sight of his "judgment" made him sick in the stomach. He wished "it'd" go away already. Apparently "it" had taken a liking to him. **

_**it.... it didn't deserve to have a name. Not for what it's done over the past years. its the one responsible for thousands of deaths and worldwide havoc. And for...**_

**He whispered her name again, hoping to find a sense of comfort within it. All he got was a scoff from "it". They stared at each other again. Without warning, "it" jumped at Chris sending him back against the wall. He covered his face helplessly and sank to the floor crying again. **

**"Stop it, just stop it," he repeated. **

**--**

**(**_**2 days later)**_

**Sunken eyed and bloodshot, the brunette looked at the ceiling, still trying to take in the shocking news from the other day. She kept telling herself in her mind that he was still alive somewhere, at the same time knowing the truth of what really happened to him. She felt somewhat betrayed by the demeanor yet didn't seem to blame anyone but herself for giving in. **

**She slowly creaked out of bed and nearly fell to the floor like a certain someone did earlier. She laid there for a moment to catch her breath and then dragged herself over to the kitchen, stopping to look at the picture on the counter with her and the man that seemed foreign to her now. The only thing on her mind right now was hoping she could get ready for work in time. **

**After a couple hours of perking and prepping with much needed effort, her hair still looked a mess and her clothes didn't even match like they usually did. Surprisingly, she didn't really care right now. Her boss was the merciful type anyway even in the fashion industry; Something she was lacking at the moment.**

**Rain poured lightly over the city as it did her. She would pick the day to not wear a raincoat. As stated before, she didn't care. She turned the corner to see people dressed in black lined up at the small graveyard nearby, some of them weeping and sobbing so loud even the heavens could hear them. Oh right....the mayor died a couple of days ago. It wouldn't be that surprising to see a lot of people gathered at one place. **

**Maybe he was better off that way, she thought. Now he won't be attacked with suspicions of drug abuse and pedophilia anymore and--**

**She shook her head away from the thought, knowing that such accusations could always be deemed false. A dozen blocks later she entered the building and rode the elevator up to her office.**

**She slumped in her chair and grabbed the agenda that was on her table. From what she could tell there wasn't really much to do today considering how much work she had to do with the tasks. A small folded piece of paper caught her eye as she flipped it open. **

_**Take off early at 12. You've earned another day**_**, it read with a mouth fade of red lipstick for the period. She would've jumped for joy, but she could only smirk, barely. **

**A few mintues later a woman with a rather professional uniform walked into the room and handed Rebecca some files with a hearty smile. **

**"Morning bedhead," she joked at her.**

**"Hey Sheva," she muttered back slowly.**

**"Ah, whats wrong, you lose sleep last night"?**

**"... Something like that."**

**"Wanna talk about it?"**

**"Not really. There's not much to explain anyway."**

**"You've been repeating that line for over how many weeks now. You really need to get some vacation time in. Oh wait, you're going to Paris in a couple of days right. I'm so jealous. **

"**Yeah... Fun," **

"**....Happiness doesn't get past you much these days anymore, does it,?"**

" **Something like that."**

**The woman sighed a nother smile and stopped at the door. "If it makes you laugh, Alexia's dress got caught in the elevator doors and in an instant it came off just like that. Could you even imagine the embarrasment?**

**By now Rebecca would have fell out the chair and on the floor laughing so hard her sides ached. But instead she just "heh heh" giggled and waved her friend off. She had to do it quickly so she wouldn't notice the tears running down her cheeks. She wanted the day to end so she could crawl back into what was left of her fragile imagination without going completely insane. **

**Looking out the large office windows, she spotted the small cafe across the street where Chris worked. Maybe she just needed someone different to talk to this time. With the loss of his partner and all, he knows what its like to go through a situation like this.**

**Hours had passed quickly when she was working, but every minute felt like an eternity to her. When it came around 12 she clocked out for the day and left. The rain had let up outside, but the sky still looked a depressing gray. She eyed the cafe she mentioned earlier and went in. Nothing but a couple of people talking amongst themselves near the windows. A single black-haired waitress stood at the counter wiping the empty glass cups and setting them aside. She greeted Rebecca with a plain smile. **

**"Welcome, can I get anything for you today?" she asked.**

**She paused for a moment and then answered,"Yes. Is... Chris here." **

**"Oh...sorry, he clocked out today. Did you want me to leave a message for him or anything?"**

**Rebecca shook her head and walked out silently. Maybe later then. She felt so dumb not asking for his number in the first place; if not that then at least where he lived. **

**More sighs and then back to her apartment she went, crying over and over again. **

**--**

**It was night again. And at that a lonely night for the rather attractive looking Redfield. **

**....**_** And possibly another sleepless one, **_**he thought. He considered seeing a therapist or a psychologist , anyone who could tell him how to end this hysteria of his. But so far no matches. If only he could talk it out with his beloved sister. Apparently, she was out of the picture for now. And Barry...well... that'd just be anothert burden on his shoulders. That only left....**

_**Rebbecca, **_**he thought. She looked like she had something on her mind as well. And the same symptoms too. What was she suffering from; if she was suffering. Maybe he'd look her up in the phone book later and give her a call before she left. At least just to say goodbye. **

**As he wandred into his thoughts, he eyed a picture on the wall. He could se himself smiling and another person beside him; but the other was blurred so he couldn't identify them clearly. He really needed some sleep. But wasn't that the reason he called out the whole day? **

**He got up to go to the bathroom and then suddenly dropped to the floor feeling dizzy and nauseated. The room was spinning left and right so fast he could almost feel bile rumbling in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't have been drunk . He hadn't drank all day. Things were slowing down after a few moments. And then.... pure darkness once again. **

**He awoke light-headed and sleepy but not at the place he had been before. A white but rather dim looking room encased him. He tried to move but found out he was bound by leather restraints. He didn't feel like struggling anyway. Just wanting to sleep and never wake up . **

**"What's the patient's status," he heard someone faintly say. A man's voice , a familiar one.**

**"He appears to be stable and ready for direct impregnation," a woman's voice said calmly. **

**He could see the man's head nod in concurrence. As he got closer to Chris, he could see him clearly now. **

**"Sleepyhead" he said pushing a pair of dark singlasses up the bridge of his nose. **

**Chris squinted his eyes and then proceeded to struggle against the straps. **

**"Oh stop it, you'll just run out of energy. Besides, you're gonna need it. Mrs. Valentine, the tools please. " **

**Chris managed to turn his head a little to see a very shapely woman dawned in a nurse outfit walk in carrying a tray full of what seemed to be an assortment of surgery tools. She set the tray down on the nearby table and clamly locked lips with....**

**"**_**It"**_

**A smile appeared across his face as he kissed her again. Just to get a reaction from Chris who was muffling something aloud. It also appeared his mouth was taped down as well.**

**"What's wrong Chris? Getting worked up over a single kiss? I thought you were more in control with your emotions. After all, she is my wife now. **

**His eyes widened at the words. Now he was the one who felt betrayed. He didn't show any signs of a love interest with Jill but still... being in love with the world's enemy was the last thing he would have expected. No... this isn't real.... it can't be real... he wouldn't agree to it. **

**"But anyhow, you are of an valuable asset to me, wether you know it or not. I've acknowledged you skills over the years and I'm offering you a choice. The man peered in closer piercing Chris's eyes with his own. With a single swipe he ripped off the masking tape and gave him a moment. "You can either work for me and stay alive, or you can die right here and now. **

**Chris looked at him squarely and the bitterly told him," I'd rather burn in hell for eternity than be your goddamn slave for the rest of my life."**

**With that he spit a huge glob of saliva in Wesker's eye, then remembered Jill. "Jill, snap out of it don't listen to him! He's just using you!" he yelled before Wesker pimp slapped him making a dribble of blood run down his cheek. He wiped his sunglasses with a cloth and then ordered Jill to shut him up with more tape. **

**"Just relax, It'll all be over soon," she said. Her voice was emotionless but her eyes pleaded for help. Chris could do nothing but watch as he saw his partner snatched away from him by evil hands. **

**He looked over at Wesker leering over him for a moment and then focused his attention onto the stabbing pain that had is eyes widening again. He struggled to regain dominance as the knife wesker had in his hand silently began to tear throught the rough skin on his abdomen. He flailed wildly but sadly hadn't gotten anywhere. The blade was felt hotter than a knife through butter. He began to scream as his organs felt the sting of air. His heart convulsing rapidly. **

**It took Jill to hold him down while Wesker made the incision. His muscles tensed and the bones in his body ached . He wished he could die right now. **

_**Just kill me now. Put me out of my misery so I won't have to go through anymore of this. Put a bullet throught my head. Slit my throat. Do something, anything to put me out of this misery. **_

**By the time he was done Chris had tears rolling down his face and he was whimpering. Not out of the pain, but at the fact that he couldn't resist. His greatest enemy was there before him and he couldn't do a damn thing about it . Never had he felt so helpless before. And to see his partner beside him laughing at him and crying for help at the same time didn't help either. **

**"Mrs. Valentine, the sample please," Wesker ordered. Jill went into the other room for a moment and walked out with a frozen looking pod with something squirming around inside. **

**Now his eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his ...anything but that. Wesker wasn't really giving him a choice to start with. Of course he wouldn't; he's evil. **

**She gave the pod to Wesker and backed away silently with her head down. You could've sworn a tear had rolled down her cheek."Were halfway there Chris. Just a little more and and you'll be complete."**

**Wesker giggle and then stood back as he unsealed to cap on the pod and let whatever was inside free. Sharp, needle like legs began tearing at away at Chris's open body making a makeshift nest within. The pain was unbearable. Not only was he experimenting on him but he was bent on torturing him every second he could. A slow and painful transformation.**

**He felt the tape being removed again and screamed at the top of his lungs. Wesker sat back and laughed in amusement. "Yes, that's it Chris.... I wan't to hear you scream. I want you to know how it feels when you disrespect a true master. There's no one here to help you anymore".**

**Chris couldn't exactly pay attention to anything Wesker was babbling on about, but was too focused on the specimen tunneling its way up his throat. Blood gurgled and shot out his mouth as his eyes started bleeding dark blood. He felt breathless and unable to cooperate with the rest of his body any longer. A haze befelled him dimming the room around him. He closed his eyes and welcomed the darkness engulfing him, hoping it would take him away in the process. **

**But he quickly snapped back awake moments later only to find that Wesker and Jill were gone and he was standing upright in what looked like a dank army prison cell. His head was on fire but he had better things to worry about. Where was he? Where were they? What happened to him? Questions raced through his already aching brain as he sought to find a solution for them. But what he was about to find out he was unprepared for...**

**He wasn't himself anymore. At least physically. His own human hands replaced with grey oversized talons. His legs appearing swollen and pale with huge blood red vains running beyond his thigh and up his chest. Vision slightly blurred. All other senses were heightened. Creepiest of all his own heart had protruded from his chest just like all the other ones before him. Memories of the past slowly drifting away like ashes. S.T.A.R.S. Mansion. Wesker. Virus. Plagas. Childhood. Claire. Jill. **

**All the stress of losing his mind frustrated him. He roared in annoyance but mostly out of fear. Fear of what he'd become and what he was going to do. No longer having control over himself he was lost again. Back into the abyss he'd seen so many times before. And then....**

**He woke up screaming. Tears crawling down his face as usual. He needed desperately to be held, told that everything he knew was a lie. This paranoia wasn't going to run it's course any time soon. It was there to act as a barrier to keep him from lingering away too far from the past. How long could he hold out? How long before he finally killed himself over it? It had been easier for him to solve these problems -or come close to them- when he had a drink in his hand... or three. So he put the rest of his clothes on and headed out to embrace the still of night.**

**--**

_**The train this time, **_**she thought as sleep overtook her. The one she had been on in her dreams so many times. But no, she was somewhere else. A place she was all to familiar with. A place she tried to wipe her mind out of as the missiles did the place itself. **

**Silent rain poured over the city in light sheets as did the moonlit sky above. Through all this mass of gorifying chaos there was sense of beauty to it all, even if it was only a little. **

**She got up from the beaten ground to find herself stainding in front of the one of the local diners. Windows were smashed and blood was everywhere suggesting it had been abandoned days earlier. In her own sense, she felt safe. But for how long?**

**She began walking in a random direction, surveying and sightseeing the ravaged lnadscape. A sparkling object in a nearby clothing store caught her eye. She lazily wandered over to it curious. What had flowed before her was a sparkling white wedding dress that if you walked into the light people would see it's luster a mile away. It was the one she wanted so desperatley but had been taken away by some other wife-to-be. She wasn't hesitant because she was too young to be thinking about marriage so soon, but because she was committed to Billy. She was his love struck and passionate Romeo and she was his love-crazed, longing Juliet. **

**But her thoughts of her comparison between their love and a famous play was suddenly cut short when the glass in front of her shattered and let loose a few of the undead stalkers. Backing away and falling on her butt as usual, she stared this time. Not out of paralyzed fear but at the recognition of a familiar face. **

**Billy. Zombified, pale, and all devoid of life. He still looked the same as ever, only with bloody clothing and peices of fresh flesh in his teeth. Most noticeably though was the look in his eyes. The look of wanting something that's been gone forever. Pain and suffering. At least that's what she saw. **

**A zombie fell and latched onto her leg, snapping her out of it. She took one last look at her former lover and broke off into a full sprint. Even if Billy couldn't understand the concept of human emotion, she didn't want him to see the tears blowing in the wind hitting her face. Down a few blocks and around a couple of corners, it still felt like they were behind her. They couldn't run could they?**

**She stopped at the nearby power plant, a mile and a half from where she started. The only thing that sucked about it was the lack of weaponry. Just a damn knife. She threw it into the distance out of frustration and broke down again. "What are you trying to tell me?" she whispered. A hand clutching her shoulder was the answer that sent her running again. **

**"Just get away from me!" She yelled. But in the end she didn't gain but 10 or 12 feet before slamming face first into a brick wall in a dead-end wiped the blood now dribbling from her nose and jumped back up. They leered in front of her looking at her through the dimness. The six other undead stepped back with Billy stepping an inch forward. Rebecca felt something heavy in her hand. A 44. Magnum. But why now? Was she given a choice?**

**"Kill me," he strained coming closer. Rebecca was shocked. Even she wouldn't expect something like that coming from him. How could she? He was already dead and she was too bonded. **

**She found herself raising the gun at him anyway. Billy moaned as if he'd lost his concience again. He opened his mouth eager to feast. She still had him at gunpoint wondering why she hadn't pulled the trigger yet.**_** Just shoot already stupid , **_**she told herself. Now the muzzle was pressed against his cheek. The brunnette closed her eyes and let the gun go limp. He made his attack. To her own surprise she had her arms open as if she was going to embrace him. But everything went black **_**again.**_

**She expected skin and muscle being torn apart and blood piling up like bile but got what she'd reached for out of the glimmer of hope in her mind.**

**A warm breeze washed over her like a wave. The air turned from a rotting city smell to the scent of a Summer's Eve. Birds chirped heading back from their long trip South. The atmosphere itself was just amazing.**

**Her arms were wrapped around something large and breathing. A faint scent of cologne whipped past her. **_**A man. So warm. Don't let go. **_

"**Hey," they said lightly. Rebecca looked up to see him, his face golden from the sunlight and oceanic eyes piercing her very soul. There were so many things she wanted to ask. What happened? Why are you dead? Why did you leave? Do you know what I've been thorugh since you've been gone?**

"**Are you real? She whispered gently putting a hand on his cheek even though she already knew the answer. **

"**I can be as real as you want me to be," his voice echoed. That only made her arms wrap around him tighter. **

**They stood in silence trying to savor the moment for the longest time possible when Billy broke the silence. "I need you to do something for me," he told her. Rebecca smiled. **

**"I want you to forget about me and move on," he said. Those words sounded cold in her ears. How could he say such a thing?**

**"But why?" she asked, fighting back tears again. **_**I've already waited so long just to see you again and now you're telling me to leave you behind. **_

**"You can't keep holding onto me like this. You're only making things worse for yourself. You're refusing to accept the reality of things. It's wearing you down. I don't like seeing you this way.**

**"But I...," she paused. **

**"Look. I already knew I wasn't going to be there for you every single time. But you can't go grieving by yourself all the time. Remember the oath we made before I left?" Rebecca looked at him sheepishly. **

**He just smiled and recited: **

_**If you're lost I'll find you**_

_**If you're lonely I'll comfort you**_

_**If you're dying, I will gladly give my life to you**_

_**If you need help just call on me**_

**Rebecca went along with him...**

_**We may not see each other again**_

_**But know this one thing**_

_**Although I may not be by your side for real**_

_**I'll be right in here**_

**They pointed to each other's chests and smiled. She couldn't believed she had forgotten that. **

**"So no matter what, I'll always be here in spirit." **

**Her vision went underwater again.**

**"Be strong," she heard before losing grip again and falling. No. Not now. Just a little bit longer. But it was already to late and he disappeared under thick clouds. **

**"Dammit" she yelled waking up from her short lived fantasy, going numb and falling to the floor. This time her head was on fire. She struggled to her feet wobbly feeling the walls leading to the bathroom cabinet. She flicked the switch but dared to look at herself in the mirror. It wasn't the cheery girl you'd thought was still in highschool. Rather it was a helpless shadow, feeding off the hatred of its ownself, loathing all the people who were actually happy with their lives. It was depressig yes, but maybe that was the idetity she wanted for herself. Mad at the world. Mad at herself. No stupid oath was going to matter anymore. She'd live a life as a rouge, attacking anyone who crossed her. **

**But she'd have to think about it first. Find a way to clear her head before getting to that point. **

**The clock bled a luminous 3:27 A.M.. Everything was obviously closed besides the 7-11 stores and the local bar down a couple of blocks. **_**A perfect place for a a perfect place to start. **_**With that being said she grabbed her jacket and keys and headed out the door. Rain fell overhead just like the rain in her dreams. Nonetheless she walked down the sidewalk ignoring the less fortunate who had asked for spare change. **

**Minutes later, the stench of abandonment and liquor flew past her. She swore if her mother had seen her walking into a bar she'd kick her butt up and down the street for being in such a blasphemous place. She took a seat next to a man who's head was in his arms surrounded by several shotglasses. Never setting foot in a bar before, she wasn't that accustomed to drink types so she just ordered two of what the other guy was having. **

**She took a sip and winced at the burning sensation in her throat. **_**How do people drink this crap. There has to be a special trick to it.**_

**The guy stirred next to her as the bartender tried to shake him awake. "Hey buddy, you plannin' on sleepin' here or what?" A burpy groan was the reply. A few failed attmpts he gave up and went back to serve the others. It took her a moment to comprehend who he was and quickly realized it was...**

"**Chris?" she asked. **

**More ruffling but nothing else after that. Something must've been bothering him too. Oh..right. He had the same story as hers. Why else would he be here simmering in his own despair?**

**Slowly, he rose and yawned looking over at her. He looked worse than the last time she saw him: hair a muddled mess, eyes drier than a desert, and a frown thta even the funniest comedian couldn't break.**

"**Hey there... shexy," he slurred. Rebecca just shifted in her seat smirked at him and ordering another double.**

"**Somebodie left YOO behind too ah? wel let mee tel yuu sumfin dose peiple are gud for nothin loozers whoo care about themshelves. Dey just leive you behind to live wit all da dirty work." **

**She knew where he was coming from. You wanted to let all the dark emotions out but couldn't because there were no exits for them. Instead they just bottle up endlessly. And you were already in denial from the start so what was the point of it.**

**Four and a half drinks were enough for her. But something was missing. The most important part of a disastrous break-up. The bar guy who does that one-night-stand-and-doesn't-remember-anything-the-next-day act. She'd feel like an incomplete idiot if she didn't get one. From what she saw most of the guys either had wedding rings on or they were just plain goofy. The only remainder was Chris but... she'd only met back up with him a few days ago. It'd be like taboo, except no one's listening. **

**But how would he know how to get home? They weren't going to let him sleep there either. It was sad to see him like this but it was even sadder that you couldn't do anything about it.**

**Chris began to sing a random tune. Rebecca sighed and took out enough from her wallet to pay for her **_**and Chris's **_**drinks. She hopped off her seat shakily and proceeded to help Chris off of his. He could stay at her place for the night; on the living room couch of course. **

**The rain came in huge drops of water but they made it to her front door she fidgeted with the lock, she could feel Chris's warm breath on her neck, making her skin tingle with awkward excitement. Finally she got the door open and dragged him inside. **

**It was bitch black now and a silent sheet was spread. She set him against the wall so she could think of where she put the extra bedsheets. **

_**Oh right, the 2nd hall closet, **_**she thought. In a mattero seconds she grabbed a few spreads, but turned around to see Chris facing her. **

"**Oh," she startled.**

"**You're sad too," he whispered.**

"**Huh," she said now feeling the effects taking over. In an instance she found herself falling into his embrace. **_**Wha--**_

"**I'm sorry. It should've been me, not you. You didn't deserve to die like that. I was just so caught up with Wesker that I... stopped realizing how important my partner was and--**

**Rebecca could feel a tear running down her shoulder. He began to shake, not from the drenching rain but the fact that his guilt was at its maximum. Why wasn't she backing away already? **

**His eyes were locked on hers again like they'd found something that wasn't there before. Something he too was searching for. **

"**Jill". His hands were cupped around her cheeks now, their lips just inches away. **

_**What am I doing? Why am I letting him do this? I already said I wouldn't. But this embrace, this familiar emotion. Everythings so familiar. Just like...**_

"**Billy," she mouthed. And almost instantly the two slowly kissed injecting every cell in their body with desire and a longing for comfort. **

**They moved to the bedroom still holding each other and fell to the bed. They both wanted to say something but probably knew what each other were going to say anyway. With fingers intertwined they melted into each other past the point of oblivion. They never ceased, knowing not one of them was at fault. This was a casual mistake. He was drunk and she was a bit over tipsy. **

**And the best part of it all no horrific dreams haunted them through their sweet and passionate night. They'd awake in the morning and then look forward to a great day ahead of them knowing a bit of bonding support was all they needed to cope with the deaths of their former partners. **

_**. Sorry if the ending was kind of bad. I was up all night the last two days trying to finish it and I was dead tired. Please comment. Tips for me would be helpful too. **_

_**P.S. Chris's dialouge at the bar was incorrectly written on prupose.**_


End file.
